12.31.06
Washing up
I don’t know - first trkey sandwiches and now washing up, I’m becoming too domesticated. Over the last few weeks I have found myself washing up, and it occurs to me quite how bad at it most people are. Now as numerous ex-flatmates will testify, I leave washing up for as long as possible until there is a stack which is both a work of art of construction, and a health hazard. It towers above the sink and wafts in the breeze. However once I start, I belive myself to be a fine washeruper, mostly because I did do it to earn money in a very busy kitchien, partly because it’s just so bloody obvious oif you think about it.
There are 5 keythings to good washing up, which are grading the stuff to be washed, removeing the food detritus, hot water, soap and finally changing the water.
Everything that needs to be washed should be graded before starting. Do no just start with whatever is in the sink, as this will be a mishmash of stuff, and it will go horribly wrong. Sort out stuff that needs soaking (there’s another rant in here about that), stuff thats greesy, stuff thats lightly soiled, and glassware. This is irnoically th reverse order to how things will be washed.
Removing the food detritus before it hits the sink is key, otherwise all out do it float all the shit and manky crap into the lovely hot water, where it floats to the surface and everything you put into the bowl, or pull out of it, gets a nice thin layer coating it. Yak. Professional kitchiens have paintscrapers on hand for KPs and dishers to scrap food off into the shitbox (like a bin, only bigger). Do the same, and use you hands to get into the corners. The more goes in the bin, the less you have to wash off - easy. Washing up bowls should never have pieces of whole food (pasta shapes, veg , I once saw a chicken leg bone) flaoting in the water, it’s just vile.
Hot water is key. Warm water thats nice on your hands does fuck all. It needs to e so hot that it hurts to up you hand in. It’s there to denature proteins and melt fat. Hot - very hot. Use a kettle if needed, but don’t have a huge owl of tepid water - it doesn’t do anything.
Soap is needed, but often over used. It’s there to disolve, embrase and float off the crap on the dishes. People put in loads and as a result have enough bubbles to look like a Fairy advert or some cheap porn. Bubbles don’t clean things, they just look like the adverts. You need a small amount. It’s just there to help hold the crap you rub off in solution/suspension in the hot water.
Changing the water is also important, and what you do with it is also key. If it looks like you’re washing in soup, then get it changed.
How to wash up - a step by step guide.
- Gather everything that needss to be washed. Check all rooms
- Remove everything from the sink, and pour away the fetted water that everything is standing in.
- Wash out the bowl - pointless having a dirty bowl pull of hot water
- Scrape everything into the bin. Everything. Once you’ve delt with a custard pan thats been quietly boiling for a whole day you canface putting your hand in anything.
- Put boiling water into thne things that need to soak. This should only be things like roasting tins.
- Run a bowl of very hot water, add a dash of soap, and wash all the glassware. Di it now before the bowl is full of shit
- Once all the glassware is down, or the water has gone cool, empty the water out using it to slews the pans of clingy bits
- Repeat this process working backwards thought the gradings of stuff. Leave the heaviest stuff till last so you keep the maximum amount of crap out of the bowl for as long as possible.
- You might need to stop and dry up. This is a good change to have a scrape at the stuff soaking too
- Once everything is washed, dried and put away, wipe down the working surfaces, and the bowl. I leave the bowl upside down to draim, proped aainst the taps, though ex housemate once complained I made the taps greasy. Fucker.
That is all. This post was bought to you by the words “frustrated” and “pedantic”, and the number “37″
